Women and men, for that matter have been
searching for the secrets to having a better orgasm since sex was invented.
Books have been written about it, sex gurus have talked about better sexual
positions for orgasm, food and diets that are supposed to help, exercise plans
and even miracle drugs. While much of these tips are valid, it seems people are
in pursuit of this never ending quest to have the perfect, most intense orgasm
ever and if they don’t succeed they think there is something wrong with them.
The continually compare themselves to others, buy into the media hype that
tells them unless they do what the experts recommend, their sex life is somehow
not measuring up to what it is supposed to be. In reality, this does more harm
than good. It only creates insecurity and anxiety which in turn make having an
orgasm, any orgasm more difficult, much less a mind blowing, earth shattering
one.
The first step in having a better orgasm is
to give yourself permission to do what is necessary to have one. Leave any
sexual baggage at your door. This includes feelings of guilt and shame about
your body, sex and pleasure. This goes a long way on the road to orgasm
discovery.
One of the most important things someone can
do to have a better orgasm and more fulfilling sex life overall is to know
their own body and what gives them pleasure. Experimenting with what kind of
touch feels good and where, what kind of stimulation at what level is needed to
build arousal to the point of orgasm is crucial to having one. If someone does
not know what pleases them sexually, how can they communicate that information
to a sexual partner? Spend some time alone with your body and find out all it’s
mysteries of pleasure.
Orgasms use muscles. It is not something we
usually think of in the heat of the moment but the truth is, during sexual
arousal and orgasm, our bodies use muscles we may not even know we had. Pelvic
muscles contract during orgasm and if these muscles are not in tip top shape it
can influence how we experience intensity of orgasm. Do Kegel exercises to
strengthen these muscles and intensity of orgasm will improve.
Take a look in the medicine cabinet.
Medications are notorious for having sexual side effects including difficulty
with orgasm. A discussion with health care providers is in order if there are
medications being taken. Sometimes there is an alternative medication that does
not have the same side effects.
Breathe and go slow. Really breathe during
sex. Slow deep breaths and controlled breathing helps keep oxygen flowing
through the blood which helps orgasm and also helps someone be aware of
everything going on with their body. It helps people tune into sex instead of
tuning out. Breathing correctly can also help slow things down. Taking your
time during foreplay and letting arousal build up actually makes orgasm better
because by the time you finally let go it will feel like a much needed
explosion.
Take inventory of your vagina. I don’t mean
to count all the parts. But pay attention to what happens during sexual arousal
and if there are problems in that area. If a woman experiences vaginal dryness
or the elasticity of her vagina has decreased from childbirth or aging, sex can
be uncomfortable or even painful and this does not make for an optimal orgasm
situation. However, vaginal dryness and loss of elasticity are actually two
things that are more easily fixed than other issues associated with sexuality
and orgasm.
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